Constructing a Dick is hard work. But I did it. I built myself a Dick, one that I hope to share with many others. In fact, in lonely moments of short-lived ecstasy, I dream of days where I share my Dick with every man, woman and child on Earth.

You may think this an unnatural pursuit. I disagree. I built my Dick with nothing but love in my heart.

So, you may ask, what does it take to build your own Dick? The first step is to select base material with the right characteristics. Give your Dick some personality. Do not seek perfection. Experience has proven that the best Dicks have flaws.

Once you have chosen the basic characteristics of your Dick, you can get down to the real work of Dick formation. These days, most Dick-builders use all ten fingers, although some erect their Dicks with just a digit or two. Pound the base material until you have a Dick with a backbone which is ramrod straight.

Dicks come in many sizes, shapes and colors, but your Dick should share one characteristic with the best Dicks in the world: even in darkness, under great pressure, your Dick should stand up for what’s right.

But enough with generalities. Let me introduce you to my Dick, Dick Young.

Dick Young is the only sentient computer on Earth and a fledgling detective. Dick would appreciate it if you bought a copy of his mystery novel, Digital Dick. Ebook and paperback editions are now available at Amazon and other book retailers.

P.S. I’d like to do this again and again and again, but I can’t keep it up any longer.

P.P.S. Please do buy Digital Dick. (Did I just say P.P.?)

Digital Dick Cover